Wednesday, April 18, 2012

So what's your plan?

One simple answer from me when I am asked this is: survival! That’s my “plan”. I am on my second baby this time and things for me have been a lot different than the first time around. I’ve read all the books: What to Expect the first year, Baby whisperer and listened to every single piece of advice from other mothers I can get. One piece of information I was told the first time around, which was very important, didn’t seem to register until my second child. For me, it’s been my guide for how I have made my game plan this time, if you could call it that. I was told, when the baby comes everything in your life changes. Now, when I heard this the first time, I thought, “yeah I know that...and??” Then the baby came, which I had been preparing for, for 9 months so no shocker there, however as soon as that first cry was made, NOTHING in my life was the same. Every aspect of my life and the way I viewed it was different in a matter of seconds. Wow, that’s a lot to handle in one day!

Not only is the new reality of your life hitting you in one moment, you get to enjoy it while you go through the monumental hormone crash of your life the first 10 days after birth. How lovely! I remember sitting in the hospital bed looking at my beautiful baby girl, who was a stranger to me really, and realizing the awesome responsibility I suddenly had. Trying to survive the first few weeks on sleep deprivation while learning to breast feed with your baby and enduring tremendous pain that goes along with it, makes any new mom what to curl into a ball and cry (thanks hormones for the extra kick in the ass when I needed it least). What happened to my wonderful relationship I was enjoying with my husband during pregnancy? Nothing pops the “babymoon balloon” phase quicker, then fighting over who is doing more or who changed the last diaper. Books and birthing classes don’t really warn you about this challenge that most couples encounter, and sadly some split up after the first year of having a baby.

So again, I think to myself, so what’s my plan? This time around I have found it to be a lot easier then the first. Here are some things I am doing differently:

  • Taking much better care of myself! Feeding and drinking water as much as possible to keep my energy going.

  • Forget my old life, wipe the slate completely clean and make it up as I go. For now, my life is about feeding and caring for my children and of course myself. It isn’t very exciting, but it’s all I can manage without overdoing it and I know in time, it will get better. 
  •  Taking shifts with my spouse. Instead of trying to do everything together, we take turns and let the other spouse sleep. I don’t get to see him and spend as much time together, however because of this change we aren’t both tired at the same time, which means no fighting and are more useful to each other then last time around. This has made us one happy couple 

We are almost at our 6 week milestone and I am so proud of how well we have done. It hasn’t been easier then the first time, but it is going smoother and we are all happier. I’ve had some dark days at the beginning (sleep deprivation is true torture, no matter who you are), but I keep telling myself on those days....”I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.....and it will get better because I have done this before and actually know it’s true.
I will leave my blog at that for today and re-evaluate my survival plan for the next 3 months in another blog as I will have a whole new set of challenges and stages to navigate....but it’s OK, because I CAN DO THIS!


  1. cool Wendy!! you are right about forgetting your old life. it is the hardest thing for me. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings!! sounds like you got a good thing going this time around!! keep it up and you can do it!!
    Wendy M. facebook friend.